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An avid Magic: The Gathering spellslinger for over 15 years, you can always convince him to shuffle up for a game (or three!) of Commander.

Common and Uncommon have flat colourings

Whenever you draw a nonland card, put a +1/+1 counter on CARDNAME

With that, gods that are forgotten simply fade away

In addition to this floodgate, your other Pirate characters get a Resist +1

Due to the prevalence and power of bounce effects (Sea Titan, Erase, etc), permanent gain control effects are inherently risky (since your opponent can bounce the champion you stole back to their [the owners] hand), but the fact that this also leaves a body in play that they have to answer might make this worthwhile